BASKETBALL DIARIES

(can you find me)

Basketball diaries, recently I was driving, i was kinda stressed and i was thinking damn i really dont have any hobbies like when i was younger. Now i have to start doing something when i get stressed and i dont wanna be around any females or nobody else. So then i started thinking about when i was like a freshman in highschool like 13 years old living in West Haven, CT. I would go to the basketball Court with minor stress back then you know lol it wasnt big stress like now it was more like "Damn how ima get those jordans since mom jus paid the bills" or "How can i make it to play Division one basketball" etc. Not major stress.

So i would dribble down the basketball court just me and the ball. Many people know me now from working in the industry, myspace, living in DC, ATL etc. But the average person that knows me wouldnt know what my first love was. And it was basketball, basketball was my first love, whenever i would stress it would just be me the court and the ball. The best time would be when there were no one around. So i would ball twice when i know no one is gonna be there. So i'll go at like 8am and like 9pm. The most relaxing thing ever was this. Just shooting thinking about life, what college i wanna go to, what will i do different for the season, thinking about current girls and more importantly my brothers and sisters, and my moms.

I rememeber having arguments with moms or just having a bad day and jus taking it out on the court, just me and my lonesome. I remembered going hard too! Couple of kids will be at the park watching, i could of cared less i knew it released energy for me. This was around when i was even fuckin' so all i knew was ball. This was my releasing energy. And it helped. Basketball was big for me. I cried about 3 times in my life. I'll give 4, and one was 2002 state tournament. This was actually my 2nd time crying in life. We were up by 35 by halftime in front of my home gym. 2nd half my coach played the junior varsity players. The team caught up, Griswald,CT. We were down 3 they had the ball. Some how some way, i stole the ball from the left handed point guard, it was like 40 seconds left when i did it i layed it up FOUL! AND 1! We down 1 now, and im at the free throw line with butterflies in my stomach, not from being nervous but i started thinking about all those times as a child i would practice for this moment. The gym was silent you could hear the sound of a pin drop....

I missed. We fouled. They make both freethrows. "I" Lose.

Walks off the court in tears like a baby....i jus remember about 7 girls walking holding me, and my moms holding me as i walked off...